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Wanted: your funny trail incidents
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bigjohn





Joined: 19 Nov 2008
Posts: 25
Location: Kingman, AZ

PostPosted: 3/15/2009, 10:24 am    Post subject: Wanted: your funny trail incidents Reply to topic Reply with quote

Meredith and I are planning to write a humorous little piece of fiction
that has a hiking group go through all the mistakes and mishaps we
can think of, along with lots of punny place names. Sort of like the
movie Airplane for backpackers. Surprised

If you've got anything really good or even just an idea or two,
please share it won't you? No real names or places will be used
and all contributors will be listed.

Here's a pic of me to start it off. Back in February I took Meredith on
an overnight backpack and managed to leave the pots behind. Had
to do the boyscout thing and get resourceful...



Yes, that IS my stove's heatshield. Wasn't easy to keep it from
putting out the fire, let me tell you! Worked a treat tho...

This project is just for fun, we have no plans to submit it to any
publication other than our own personal sites. Kind of a writing
exercise, done just because we can.
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http://positioniseverything.net
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oliverr99





Joined: 04 Jul 2006
Posts: 632
Location: Glendale

PostPosted: 3/15/2009, 10:51 am    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

I always thought Wet Beaver Creek was a funny name!
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Anne
"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" -- Dr. Seuss
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bigjohn





Joined: 19 Nov 2008
Posts: 25
Location: Kingman, AZ

PostPosted: 3/15/2009, 10:55 am    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

oliverr99 wrote:
I always thought Wet Beaver Creek was a funny name!


Oooo. Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about! Wink
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azhiker96





Joined: 05 Jan 2003
Posts: 1419

PostPosted: 3/15/2009, 12:41 pm    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

Okay bigjohn, I'll lend a tale or two. Just remember, any resemblance to persons living or dead or imaginary is purely accidental. That includes any scars that I might have. Wink
A few years ago I was into trail running, for fitness mainly and to see more trail as a secondary reason. I was on my favorite 12.5 mile training loop in the Superstitions; Peralta TH, Bluff Springs trail, Terrapin Trail, Dutchman trail, then Peralta trail back to the trailhead. I was at about the 6 mile point, making good time and letting my mind wander as I trotted down a series of switchbacks dotted with volcanic rock. My feet were finding their way on automatic as I was a thousand miles away planning a trip to Nebraska to see my kids.
Suddenly, my mind was yanked back to the Arizona desert. My right foot had lit on a basketball sized rock that gave way when my weight shifted on it. In an instant, I was transformed into a circus bear, backpedaling on a ball made of stone down a very rocky trail. Three quick pedals was all I got before the rock was grabbed by his friends and brought to a sudden stop. I didn't stop though.
My sudden increase in momentum pulled me forward even as my feet remained glued to that deceptive boulder. Falling was not a choice, it was happening. The only option I had was to direct the fall left, right, or center. On the left of the trail was a huge prickly pear. To the center,the trail continued to drop away which meant a farther fall and it was littered with sharp edged rocks of all sizes. On the right side of the trail, a hungry cholla sat waiting to embrace me with it's fishhook filled arms. The choices were laid out from bad to worse. I pushed off with my feet and drifted to the left.
My left shoulder broke off a pad and eased into the main stalk of the prickly pear. The cactus shuddered as I continued my belly flop into it. Arms, chest, belly and left leg stripped most of needles off my hapless benefactor. Dust rose up around me and I came to a rest. Gritty sweat stung my eyes and dripped into my mouth giving me a dirty ocean taste experience. My biggest worry was a broken ankle. That would transform this simple training hike into a very different adventure. I wiggled my toes, then moved my feet, then flexed my knees. Whew! No pain, or at least nothing indicating structural damage.
Slowly I rolled to the right and sat up on a large rock before pulling a cactus pad off my left chest and proceeding to unpin my shirt from my body. It only took about 20 minutes to remove enough needles so that I could continue on my hike. The fall and my embarrassment would be a secret between me and the few lizards who had watched in silence. Of course, red splotches on my shirt and a few red streamers down my left leg threatened to tell the tale to anyone I met on the trail. I denied every word.
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PageRob





Joined: 03 Mar 2005
Posts: 859
Location: Page, Az.

PostPosted: 3/15/2009, 12:56 pm    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

We were in hiking along the floodplain of Chinle Wash on the Navajo Nation when I noticed the ground felt springy. That meant quicksand. I said. "This feels like quicksand. We've got to keep moving, don't stop." At that point my brother-in-law in front of me stops, forcing everyone else to stop, and asks "What?"
Behind me Ely starts flailing around and sinking into the quicksand, yelling "Ahh! Rob, help, get me out of here!" Beth, behind her, backs up, since she was still on dry ground with one foot. So Ben starts thrashing in front of me, pulling at the willows and tamarisks around him to try and help. I'm chuckling while staying as still as I can. "Help me out!" Ely yelled. I try to turn, grabbing onto a willow, as I begin to go down as well. Movement is your real enemy in quicksand. I hold out the hiking pole to her, coated in slimy Chinle mud. "You can try this if you want-" and she does, her hand slipping off immediately. That mud is slick! "-but how you get out of quicksand is to lay down. Crawl or wiggle your way to dry ground." I then demonstrate, flopping to my belly beside Ben. I hope its not all a crock - I'm just going off of several accounts of quicksand that I've read, I've never actually dealt with this quicksand before, not crotch deep quicksand like we're in.
It works though. We claw our way forward across the mud until we reach dry ground and can stand up again. We added about 50 lbs of mud to our gear that way though!
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azhiker96





Joined: 05 Jan 2003
Posts: 1419

PostPosted: 3/15/2009, 4:41 pm    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

I spent a night in a thunderstorm at Reavis Ranch. There's an old apple orchard there and the apples were ripe. During the day I had seen many sets of deer track and some bear scat. After supper I hoisted my foodbag into a tree and, after cleaning them thoroughly, placed my cookware about 50 feet from my tent. I didn't want a bear to have any excuse to come visit me during the night.
An evening light rain turned into a full blown thunderstorm as the night wore on. I felt the tent shake with the wind. The inside of the tent was lit up as lightning bolts tore across the sky. Thunder rippled through the valley. Alone in my tent, I could barely sleep as I wondered if a bear might smell supper on my clothes or maybe would be curious about my tent.
About midnight, I heard horses screaming quickly followed by people shouting. I'd seen 3 groups of horse campers when I hiked into the valley. Now one of those groups had been awakened from their sleep. I smiled. Suddenly I realized that group of horse fanciers must have brought along some sweet feed for their mounts. Sweet feed has molasses in it. I didn't have anything that could come close to tempting a bear away from molasses so I knew where the bears would be that night, playing with the horse folks. I turned over and slept soundly until the light of dawn crept into my tent.
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bigjohn





Joined: 19 Nov 2008
Posts: 25
Location: Kingman, AZ

PostPosted: 3/15/2009, 8:57 pm    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

That tale about the rolling rock and the big fall reminded me of an
incident I mentioned in my first Sierra trip report on my site. Here's
the relevant part:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

This day I arise well before the sun tops the peaks and emulate
Mike by rambling around the lake shore to explore a bit. I'm having
a great time and reach a vantage overlooking some other small lakes
nearby. Then the sun comes out and I better get back. There is a
20 foot wide gully full of snow to cross on the route back. Hey, no
problem for the big Mountain Man who braves dangerous glaciers
over death plunges in howling gales!

The conditions are a bit different this time tho. I haven't got my
trusty poles with me, and this snow has not been warming all day
in the sun. Still, it's a gentle slope, it's got no dangerous hazards
nearby, and it's only 20 feet across. Hah!

I remember every detail. The first step should have warned me as
my boot came down on a rock hard glaze, but no, Dumb John had
to keep going. The third step was my last. Whoosh! I was slammed
to that hard ice in an instant, painfully banging my hip. Then gravity
took over completely and I slowly and helplessly slid down the dippy
surface, leaving little gouge-trails as I went. Shortly I fetched up on
the other side of the gully, thankful at least that no human eyes had
witnessed my prone, bumpy, face-down, feet-first progress.


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One cannot touch the Earth with shoes on...

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http://positioniseverything.net
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Deborah





Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 297
Location: Tucson

PostPosted: 3/16/2009, 8:46 am    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

I was on a New Year's Backpack in the Superstitions with SAHC.
Eber Glendening one of our founders was along with his wife Lorena.
They cooked a grand Gourmet dinner and as Lorena placed Eber's plate on the ground Eber stepped right on top of it.
He ate it , dirt and all and licked his boot clean.
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bigjohn





Joined: 19 Nov 2008
Posts: 25
Location: Kingman, AZ

PostPosted: 3/16/2009, 11:39 am    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

Deborah wrote:
He ate it , dirt and all and licked his boot clean.


Feeling queasy...

But, it shore is a good 'un! Razz
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One cannot touch the Earth with shoes on...

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http://positioniseverything.net
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Deborah





Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 297
Location: Tucson

PostPosted: 3/16/2009, 1:01 pm    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

Eber Glendening was a founding member of SAHC. He was one of the legends who would go anywhere and do anything. He died of Pancretic Cancer in March of 1997. In 1996 he lead his last backpack down Sapillo Creek in the Gila Wilderness. He told us we would just be getting our feet wet, well we ended up swim packing. Eber loved to hike naked, he stripped down to Nothing but his boots and pack. That night while we were all trying to dry our clothes out around the campfire, he just sat back and laughed at us.
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oliverr99





Joined: 04 Jul 2006
Posts: 632
Location: Glendale

PostPosted: 3/16/2009, 2:17 pm    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

I bet the image carries on! Shocked
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"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" -- Dr. Seuss
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cakewalk





Joined: 03 Jan 2003
Posts: 512

PostPosted: 3/16/2009, 7:49 pm    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

This one is worth repeating:

It was a quiet Sunday afternoon, the summer of 07. Planned activities ended early, so I decided to go for a hike. There is 1 thing I especially enjoy about hiking, the solitude, and therefore hike off trail in places where I would not expect to see any other people. This fateful day was no exception.
I head off, destination about 600 vertical feet in just over 1/4 mile. Fairly steep but very doable in the 100 and some odd degree summer heat.
There are creatures on this hill; I've seen Javalina, foxes and assorted reptilia. So whenever I hear a noise or catch some in the peripheral, I take notice.
As I approach the top, I see a blanket hanging in a tree, apparently situated to block the afternoon sun. "Campers" I think to myself. I figure we will exchange niceties and be on our way. Disappointed because of the whole solitude thing, I make my way over. Just as I approach ground zero, something catches my eye. I turn to look over toward the tree hanging blanket, I see something. Yup, it was something... It was... a Butt. The butt was moving in a fashion that I figured it didn't wish to be bothered or even seen. I imagine the butt thought as I did - “Its a hundred plus degrees, no one else will be up here, we shall be alone”. I quickly turned my eyes away and headed immediately back from wence I came.
I will never know if the loving couple saw me, If so, they were likely more embarrassed than I. Kids probably from the housing area below, trying to get some privacy. Not this day my friends! For you unwittingly changed the name of this, my playground, from Hedgepath Hills to "Butt Mountain"

So, as you drive the 101 westward into Glendale, past 51st Ave, gaze to the right and repeat to your grandchildren.....The legend of Butt Mountain.

Oh, and the next time someone posts a thread asking “what’s the strangest thing you ever found while hiking”? You have my answer.
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oliverr99





Joined: 04 Jul 2006
Posts: 632
Location: Glendale

PostPosted: 3/18/2009, 6:04 pm    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

I am so sorry that you had to see me and my husband up there, with our butts hanging out like that Embarassed .....JUST KIDDING!
I remember you told that story when it did happen. That is funny! I hike that area a lot, I will remember the legend of Butt Mountain!
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"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" -- Dr. Seuss
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azbackpackr
Hi Tech Wizardess




Joined: 31 Dec 2005
Posts: 3639
Location: Needles CA

PostPosted: 3/19/2009, 5:00 am    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

I was on a weekend backpacking trip in the Catalinas with my son's Scout troop. We had stopped to set up camp at one of our favorite spots in Wilderness of Rocks, right by where the trail crosses Lemmon Creek. The boys had gone off to explore and I was just resting in camp. My son, Jeff, had left part of his lunch, a plastic container of strawberry cream cheese, on the ground next to his pack.

Suddenly a large WOLF ran into camp, grabbed the cream cheese container and ran off with it toward the creek. I was a little startled, to say the least, but then a large greyhound followed, and the woman who owned them both was yelling at the wolf to let go of the cream cheese. She gave it back to me, apologizing, but by then it was all full of tooth-holes and creek water. She said, "If I had thought there would be so many people down here I would have gone somewhere else." I was glad the Scoutmaster wasn't around because he was the type to get up on his high horse and lecture people about leash laws, and I wasn't in the mood to listen. She had apologized, that was good enough for me.

A few minutes earlier, my son, who was about 13, and a brand new 11-year-old Scout were out hiking around and saw the wolf. The younger boy was very scared, and said, "Jeff, what's that?" Jeff said, very nonchalantly, "Oh, that's a wolf." They climbed up on a big rock. (Jeff said he could tell it wasn't a wild wolf and he wasn't scared, but somehow he failed to communicate this to the younger boy, who was petrified.)

Fast forward several years. I was out hiking Gardener Canyon Trail up the backside of Mt. Wrightson with a fun group of SAHC members. I had been getting acquainted with one of the women in the group. We'd been having a nice conversation about all kinds of things. Then she happened to mention she had once owned a wolf. I asked her, "Did you also own a greyhound?" She said, "Yes, how did you know?" I said, "Well there was this one time I was camping with Boy Scouts at Lemmon Creek Crossing and your wolf ran into my camp and stole my son's..." "CREAM CHEESE!" she yelled. We both had a good laugh out of that one.
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AFScout80





Joined: 16 May 2007
Posts: 82
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: 3/19/2009, 5:08 am    Post subject: Reply to topic Reply with quote

John,

A couple of falls ago, myself and a group of 4 other friends on this site were backpacking the Grand Canyon for 4-5 nights. We headed down to Thunder River and stopped there to break on the way to Tapeats Crick. My friend Brian (aspen_oaks) was going to filter some water at the base of the waterfall. He instead discovered a "bear" taking a bath in the pool. The bear was actually a 50 year old, hairy, bald man. Haha, he was obviously disturbed...put his sun hat and boots on (nothing else) and started trotting down the trail steamed off and stark nekked, carrying his clothes the entire way down the canyon. I occasionally saw a nude, hairy blur as he was taking the switchbacks down. Lovely.
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